The Greatest Spray

Here I am putting actual magic in a bottle, and no one wants to buy it. Okay, not magic-magic…that’s not a real thing, but I am pretty certain of the efficiency of my brew, and it’s going to be the most powerful hairspray the world has ever known. Better than Ice-Freeze-Hold, better than Hollywood Hair, […]

Cruelty to Kitchens?

What’s that thing where someone tries to get you to doubt your mental capacity? Is it possible for a TV series to do this to you? I guess it’s more difficult, but at the same time, a lot of people just believe what they see on TV and don’t ever question it so maybe it’s […]

Impressing Sergeant

When I signed up for a defensive driving course, I didn’t know I’d have to be using my own car. Kinda thought there would be one waiting for me, a car equipped with adequate defences and protection against impact. That kind of thing, you know. But I guess this is what I get for choosing […]

The Tinted Box of Mystery

My new performance piece is going to BLOW everyone away, with how subtle and dull it is. For through the mundane, we find true art…and also exposure leading to our own gallery, with artworks selling for millions of dollars. Unfortunately, sitting in a commercially tinted box for 78 hours really isn’t something you can buy, […]

Kitchens, Great Places for Romance

Everyone in a romantic novel always has some kind of dream job. Or, like…the protagonists always do. The thing is, it needs to be the RIGHT job. If I ‘m going to give my protagonist a job, then it needs to be something that moves the plot along. So many people give their protagonists jobs […]

Cars, the Prime Transport

We had quite the lively discussion at the Futurist Club the other day, and I think we concluded that it’s best for humanity if cars stay the way they are. Well, actually…not *exactly* the way they are. So long as they become 100% environmentally-friendly, running on renewable fuel and maybe intelligent enough to drive by […]

She Won’t Be Right Any More…

“She’ll be right, mate.” I don’t think she will, actually. I want to say the old bomb will keep going, and I shouldn’t have any worries, but that doesn’t look like it’s happening. Too many years, too much stuff carried. It’s time the old Corolla was laid to rest. We had a good run, though. […]

Walls, Rocks, Normal Things

There was a very interesting feature in ‘Garden Proud Quarterly’ about building a garden wall. Never built a garden wall before. A few years ago, I almost planted some petunias, but otherwise, it’s been a whole lot of nothing out there. I think about it every time I go to work in my office job, […]

Welcome to the House of Fun…

A new week, new challenges, and whaddya know? I’m bein’ let down, again! I thought I could trust Charleine with sorting out the building documents, but Charleine is a lazy bum and she shited the job onto Lorline and Gelatine, two bigger airheads than her. But the worst thing is that Charleine has been here […]