I know that I was supposed to give up my life of crime after Frankie and I got married, but I just can’t help it. After years of smashing glass for fun, I have to get my roguish tendencies out somehow. My name is Bandit, after all. Sure, our little trips to the hardware store where I could smash all the glass my heart desired were nice, but the novelty wore off.

So, I regret to inform you all that I am at it again. Not smashing glass, but still breaking the law. I’m no longer the Glass Smashing Bandit. I’m the Office Designing Bandit. That’s right, I break into offices at night and give them a makeover so that all of the employees of these businesses can come in on a Monday and be stunned by the change. While I am breaking the law, I’m still trying to make a positive difference in the world.

For example, last week I was doing research into the best Melbourne office fitouts going around so that I could design and fitout an office for a business that sells energy bars. It actually made the news, which was pretty cool. This morning, on the way to my actual job, I picked up a newspaper and saw the office I had designed on the front page. You have no idea how awesome that was, even if the headline read “Nefarious bandit of office interior designer based in Melbourne strikes again”.

Let’s get one thing clear, though. I’m no “Bandit of Office Interior Design”. I’m the Office Designing Bandit. It’s nice and simple, easy to remember because of its succinctness. Let’s not overcomplicate things here. The media picked up the name “Glass Smashing Bandit” easily enough. It’s the exact same formula. A noun and a verb, along with bandit. So easy!

I can already tell this is going to be an uphill battle, though. I don’t know why the media wants to complicate matters. Perhaps I should just remember that even the famous Spider-Hero was once called Man-Spider by the media. We’ll get there eventually.

– Bandit