I am heartbroken, I never wanted to hurt him, not like this. Over the years he has become dear to me like a son. I never married, I was too busy with my career, I came close a few times. The love of my life walked away and I did not go after her. I regret that more than anything else, this is not about lost love. I can’t stand how much I’ve let him down. I wanted to be a good father, I’ve never been good enough to be a father to anyone. I had hoped that he would learn to see me as a father figure. I can’t hold out any more hope for that. I never planned to leave this earth so suddenly, leave my whole family behind with him. I haven’t told him, he doesn’t know that I’ve chosen him to run the farm when I’m gone. I know that he’s the best person for the job, even if he doesn’t know himself yet. I took the first step, I talked to the Perth based funeral director and started the arrangements for my passing. I’m sure now that I will be cremated and floated out to the sea. My family won’t have much to organise or worry about. This kid, he’s still just a young man, only 16 years old. I don’t really think he will take the news well. It’s not an easy thing to tell somebody, let alone somebody who you don’t want to abandon. We will have the funeral service in Perth, where my family belongs. My family want me to tell him all that he needs to know but I’m holding back. I just need a little more time. I’m sure it will not be easy once I’m gone, eventually he will be able to move on. A leader that is hesitant to take charge will always be a stronger leader.