conference speaker

Encouragements for the Klutzes

motivational speakerThe way I see it, when people say they’re ‘uncoordinated’, they don’t mean anything other than the super basic stuff. Like, they can’t do a cartwheel. They fell over that one time and now they call themselves the clown of their friendship ground because they’re just SO wacky. It’s not a real lack of coordination, like I used to suffer. I bet those people can coordinate their socks just fine. I bet they know when to cross the road and when to wait. I could’ve DIED.

I’m still working on past bitterness with my therapist (clearly), but what I’m not angry about any more is my lack of coordination. There was a conference for people like me, you see. It was held at the most obvious location: Smith Conference Centre Number 1, Smith Street, 3000. The chairs were all fixed to the floor and didn’t fold or anything silly like that. They even hired the professional conference speakers who they thought would be the best or a group of people who, when told to look up something in their booklet, would fumble around and either look on the wrong page or drop their books and spend a good few minutes fishing around for them under the chairs, only to find that they grabbed someone else’s.

Now, I know this is a serious issue for some people; dyspraxia is a real ailment and it causes a bit of this behaviour. This event wasn’t for genuine medical sufferers. It was for people who were just SO klutzy and airheaded that they needed a good talking to, lest they wander into traffic and get themselves run over. I was one of these people, and my housemates send me along to this conference because they thought a good bit of motivational speaking might just do me a world of good.

And you know what? It was harsh, but helpful. When you don’t suffer from genuine brain imbalance and are instead simply the worst, a motivational speaker giving you a good, helpful, push was just what we needed. Since then I’ve really upped my game…and so I should, really.