The Power of Electricity

industrial energy monitoringTotal number of current patients: one. And he’s my best friend, so really, things are still pretty slow.

Still, this is the exact type of thing faced by Galileo, Tesla…and the guy who invented the Cronut (that’s the marvellous mix of a croissant and a doughnut). Everyone thought they were crazy, but then what. They were respected as geniuses, that’s what!

At least, that’s what I’m going for. Electricity has been our friends for so long, and yet it’s only sparsely been used in medicine. You’ve got defibrillators, and electro-shock therapy. That’s it. But then, just think of the world in which we live. Power, power everywhere! Industrial energy monitoring has shown us that we use energy for 98% of our daily activities. Electricity is our friend, and thus I have started a clinic where all the remedies are electrical, all of the time. Mosquito bite? Zap it. Got a cold? We’ll shock it right out of you. Tonsillitis? A quick jolt to the mouth and no more pain.

Unfortunately, Melbourne’s commercial energy storage has been pretty stringent in letting us use their technology. I told them what it was for, they said it was ‘barbaric’ and the science was ‘unproven’ and ‘could cause significant damage’ and that we should ‘go to jail.’

Pfft, how silly. We’re not electrocuting people; just giving them controlled bursts of life-giving electricity! If it can restart a person’s heart, then it can definitely get rid of a bit of a flu. That’s the idea anyway. I don’t have science to back up this hypothesis yet, we’ll need to crowd source some funding for that. 

For now, we’re just using car batteries. But once I can prove to the medical community that I’m doing some genuine good, we’ll be looking into commercial solar. Solar energy just seems to be the best for healing, wouldn’t you agree?

-Dr Stein