I just got back from possibly the worst self-help seminar in the history of forever. It was supposed to help us deal with our severe anger issues by teaching self-acceptance, but all it really achieved was making me want to punch the speaker right in his stupid flat nose. ‘Describe yourself in five positive words!’ Angry, frustrated, enraged, unforgiving, violent. There you go. I don’t care if they’re not positive; YOU try being forced to go on a five-hour course that starts off with contorting yoga poses, and see how well you manage to retain your sense of calm.

I’m not really putting much stock in the ‘methods’ they gave us to help with the calming process. ‘Drink a cup of assam tea. Think about the good times that made you happy. Make a video of your positive moments, made by you, that you can look back on and be proud of!’

Ugh. I’ve already googled if any Melbourne videographers can help me out with that one, because I’m about as photogenic as Davy Jones in the midst of a rum-induced hangover. Yes, I know it’s cheating to have people come along and make the video for me, and I won’t get any satisfaction, but SHUT UP. I need this, for me, myself, to calm me down, and the pamphlet says so. I’ll record encouraging messages or something, so when I get angry I can look at this video and it’ll be me, telling me to calm down, seriously, get a hold of yourself. And hopefully that’s a voice I can listen to.

The process can only be enhanced with some quality videography, in my opinion. Why settle for a grainy phone selfie camera video with no editing, when you can turn it into a cinematic experience? Greg knows some people who do corporate video production in Melbourne…somewhere, at least. This is for the sake of my sanity, as well. I hate team and don’t all my good times are obscured by a haze of rage. So video is all I’ve got.

-Regina