The Net Fiend’s Last Job…

Argh, foiled in my humanitarian plot! I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for that meddling amateur detective and his inexplicable canine companion! I did what I did for the best reasons. I have nothing against tennis, elderly people, sports netting or Keymore’s sporting scene in general. I stole those nets […]

Professional eavesdropping

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a chronic eavesdropper. I know it’s probably a massive invasion of people’s privacy, but I can’t help it. I just like to listen, and, I’m going to be honest here, to gossip. I am an enormous gossip. It’s kind of like a curse, really, and most of the time it […]

Mystery in the garden

Standing there watching the team tear up this family’s garden and throw it into the back of their truck was heartbreaking. I was visiting a potential investment property which had recently gone on the market. I had been renting for some time but had finally saved up enough buy a house. It was eerie to […]

Life On a Houseboat

Sometimes I wish I lived on a houseboat. Most of the time, that’s because some idiot is blaring his music downstairs at 2am and I want to put my foot through his roof in an effort to let him know how inconsiderate that is. It’s really inconsiderate, in case you were wondering. With a houseboat, […]

Videography, for My Own Harmony

I just got back from possibly the worst self-help seminar in the history of forever. It was supposed to help us deal with our severe anger issues by teaching self-acceptance, but all it really achieved was making me want to punch the speaker right in his stupid flat nose. ‘Describe yourself in five positive words!’ […]

Same age, same income

It’s strange what different directions two similar people can go in. Like, you can think you have everything in common and that you’re going in completely the same direction in life and everything and then all of a sudden you come to a crossroads, and one of you goes left and the other goes right. […]

My Quiet, Stylish Neighbours

It’s true, you don’t see many Buddhist temples that look exactly like a large, classy, eastern-suburbs home. Maybe that’s a good thing. They actually call themselves Zennists, and I can’t really speak out against them because they’re just the quietest of neighbours. I never hear a single thing from them about anything, really. So long […]

Encouragements for the Klutzes

The way I see it, when people say they’re ‘uncoordinated’, they don’t mean anything other than the super basic stuff. Like, they can’t do a cartwheel. They fell over that one time and now they call themselves the clown of their friendship ground because they’re just SO wacky. It’s not a real lack of coordination, […]

Running from the Reaper

Tomorrow, I am going to a meeting where, for the first time ever, I will be discussing succession planning in Melbourne. Sadly no, that does not mean that I am going to sit in a dimly lit room and plot to overthrow the king, thus securing a higher place in the line of succession for […]

Future Teleporting Post Services

The way technology is going lately, I’d be surprised if we aren’t just beaming objects to each other instead of waiting for postmen to deliver them. Back a few decades, I used to be a big fan of Sun Romp, the daring and ground-breaking tale of a ship heading into the unknown to find new […]