Plumbing No More!

I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. Plumbing, seriously? Nobody doubted my enthusiasm, sure, but even I couldn’t tell that I was terrible at it. I guess I let it go to my head far too much whenever I actually did something right. I’d fix a boiler or tighten some pipes, the people […]

Mass flushing causes blocked sewers in Melbourne

An epidemic of children flushing their toothbrushes has gripped Melbourne due to a popular children’s television show. To date there have been thirty reports of blocked sewers. Melbourne parents have taken to Facebook to express anger at the network for airing the episode. The mass flushing occurred following the airing of a television show in […]

My Forward-Thinking Thoughts on Pests

Right now, there’s a complex internet war raging over an incredibly important subject. No, it’s not that new American president…that pales in comparison to the magnitude of this issue. Melbourne is currently dealing with two major schools of thought: that of pest controllers and homeowners, and the views of the Melbourne Society for the Prevention […]

A Condor Confrontation Atop the Scaffolding

I always get stuck on the dumbest things when I’m writing short stories. Thing is, the tiniest details are important to me; in a story of only 2000 or so words, the smallest thing can tell you loads about a person. Like, take the main character I have right now, who has been just impossible. […]

Being inspired by the inspirational

I think it’s finally time that I go back to uni. I know, I know, that’s a bit of a big sweeping statement, but just hear me out. I dropped out of uni about two years ago because, frankly, I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. The whole thing was really just a […]

Did you become your childhood dream?

In the Western world, we’re so obsessed with individualism and uniqueness. We tell our kids, ‘You can be anything you want.’ and ‘Aim high’. It’s good in a way because it gives people a sense of freedom and inspires ambition. But on the other hand, it sets kids expectations too high and most people invariable […]

Alive and Still Boating

They think me dead…but not so! It is I, Byrav! I know, faking your death is a bit old-fashioned nowadays, but I have quite a stash of money outside my estate that’ll do quite nicely until I’m actually dead. In the meantime, I just wanted to see how people would react once they know I’m […]

Come to Jandakot, We Have Play Centres!

Being appointed head of tourism for a sleepy hamlet. Not really how I thought my evening was going to go, but my motto is always making the best of things. Best get stuck in! I’ve been going along to Jandakot council meetings for a few months now. It’s so quiet here, there’s not usually much […]

The Net Fiend’s Last Job…

Argh, foiled in my humanitarian plot! I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for that meddling amateur detective and his inexplicable canine companion! I did what I did for the best reasons. I have nothing against tennis, elderly people, sports netting or Keymore’s sporting scene in general. I stole those nets […]

Professional eavesdropping

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a chronic eavesdropper. I know it’s probably a massive invasion of people’s privacy, but I can’t help it. I just like to listen, and, I’m going to be honest here, to gossip. I am an enormous gossip. It’s kind of like a curse, really, and most of the time it […]